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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “detached from reality”, he explains. You feel invincible and you think, ‘People will see that I’m better than them … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

In his case, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are usually followed by a “crash”, where he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his actions, making him particularly vulnerable to criticism from those around him. He first suspected he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after investigating his behaviors online – and was later evaluated by a clinician. However, he is skeptical he would have taken the label unless he had already reached that conclusion personally. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they feel beliefs of dominance. They operate in an altered state that they’ve built up. And within that framework, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Although people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, it’s not always clear what is meant by the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states a leading researcher, who believes the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he suggests many people conceal it, as there is widespread prejudice linked to the disorder. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to seek admiration through things like seeking admiration,” the professor says. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in NPD Presentation

Although a significant majority of people diagnosed with NPD are males, research suggests this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” explains a young adult who posts about her co-occurring conditions on social media. It’s fairly common, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

I find it difficult with dealing with feedback and not being accepted,” she says, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I either go into a defensive state or I completely shut down.” Even with this reaction – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her close relationships, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners during adolescence,” she admits. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where we’ve agreed, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and says she lacked healthy examples in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding continuously the difference between acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because I never had that in my formative years,” she shares. “Nothing was off-limits when my household were insulting me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. “There is a genetic component,” notes a mental health specialist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The individual explains when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of loving someone, until he met his current partner of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, like him, has difficulty with mood stability. She is “highly empathetic of the internal struggles in my head”, he explains – it was surprisingly, she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Following an appointment to his doctor, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions via government-funded care (a long period of therapy is the primary approach that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: “They said it is likely to occur in a few months.”

John has only told a few individuals about his NPD diagnosis, because “prejudice is common that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, personally, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he explains. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the growth of NPD content creators and the expansion of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number